some internet things make me irrationally angry

Here are my latest irrationally-angry-ticks.

How infuriating are people who still say “Murica“?  Good god it’s the most unoriginal joke you can make.  In all its forms it’s unfunny.  It’s not funny to say on its own and it’s not funny to say to make fun of people who say it.  It’s literally never funny.  I’m this close to going nuclear whenever I hear someone say it.  The problem is I’m always in groups of mostly nice people and the person who says it is usually not an asshole so even someone like me still can’t bring himself to scream at him.  But I’m not sure I’ll be able to hold it in any longer.  I keep thinking it will go away but for fuck’s sake Team America was like 10 years ago and it still hasn’t died.

The other one is this shit that came out of Facebook or Buzzfeed or wherever millenials and teenage chicks get their expressions.  When chicks say it, it doesn’t bother me that much because I just chalk it up to another idiotic fad females say that they think is funny but really isn’t.  But when I hear dudes say it I want to hit them (And no, I’m not speaking in hyperbole).

It’s when they say some variation of “all of the ____”.  It’s supposed to be funny because it uses poor grammar (another stupid internet trend – intentionally bad grammar as a substitute for humor).  Here are two examples:

A comment by some son of a bitch going by the name Paul Revere on the Bill Murray scene in Zombieland:  “Walk in bill murrays house, get high then play ghostbusters with him. all of my yes

Listening to a emotional song and then saying this gets “all your feels.

Oh my, I’m going to think of this next time I’m in front of the heavy bag.

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