let’s play who’s the dickhead here? (answer: the person who’s not me)

Here’s the situation: you’re in your car at the stoplight in the left turn only lane.  A motorcycle shows up off your front right bumper and gets in front of your car.  See the picture below.  You are the red car and the motorcycle is the blue arrow.


You notice him looking at his phone which is attached to his handlebars via a mount.  The light (a protected turn) turns green and he does not immediately go.  What do you do?

  1. Wait till he notices
  2. Honk
  3. Try to go around him and stomp on your gas


Answers #1 and #2 are both acceptable.  If you picked #3, congrats, you are a fucking dickhead.  Which is exactly what the guy behind him did today.

Now, should I have been looking at my phone at a stoplight?  Probably not.  You know what?  Definitely not.  Especially after essentially elbowing my way to the front of the line, I should have been more alert.  But what I did is legal and I have every right to filter to the front.  You being irritated with the way the rules of the road work is just too god damn bad.  And you’ve never looked at your phone at a stoplight before?  Never been caught with your dick in your hand while people were waiting on you?  Just thought, “Nah, I’ll put someone else’s life in danger because fuck him.”

I guess you’re wondering what I did next.  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Traffic was slow on the next street we pulled onto (one lane, see picture) and I left him in my dust as the cars stacked up.  Isn’t that what I’ve said in the past?  Let it go.  Well, guess what, kids?  I practice what I preach.


If you haven’t noticed, a recurring theme of this blog is that I know best and that I always do the right thing.  This is why I am the Czar of Transportation and you are not.

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