hey girls, can we skip to the part where i have to pay for something?

Women have found something else to be unhappy about.

I don’t even think this is a feminist thing.  It’s a female thing.  “You know why girls are always cold?  Because they are annoying.”

I’m going to point out a recurring theme here.  Every time women complain about something, it’s always some drawn out, painful story that works it’s way around to “give me something.”  Sometimes it’s money.  Sometime’s it’s validation.  Always it irritates me.  But the worst part is having to listen to them complain the entire time when all I’m thinking is, “Can you just fucking tell me what I have to do to get you to shut up?  Then I can decide if I’m going to pat you on the head and give you what you want or tell you to kick rocks.”

Did any of you listen to that whole shit about the pink tax?  How unbearable was that?  For any of you that didn’t pay attention, the gist was that women really like buying hygiene products that are identical in functionality to men’s products except for the fact that they come in pretty colors.  Businesses, realizing that women place an inordinate value on pretty things, maximize profits by charging more for said pretty objects.  However, upon noticing this, instead of simply substituting the men’s products (or being rational and realizing that there’s nothing wrong with paying more for a product that you like better, even if it’s just for looks), they insist that someone else pay the difference.  “Here ya go, sweetheart.  Take some more allowance so you can buy your pretty razors.”

Then we have the “wage gap” stuff in which women decided that they want to continue to work in the same low-risk, medium-skilled, medium-ambition office jobs they’ve always aspired to, except they want more money despite bringing nothing additional to the table.  Yes, where could we possibly find another female with a 4-year degree in sociology to sit behind a desk and type HR emails?  You’re so valuable!  You should get a raise!  No way, you shouldn’t have to go do all those icky, dangerous jobs men do like construction, electrical work, oil drilling, fishing, craftsmanship, mechanics, logging, truck driving, trash collecting, roofing, or steel work.  Just stay in your comfy office and wear your pretty dresses and drive your Honda / Prius / 3 Series.  “Oh, we just want what our male counterparts make,” they said.  Except they already do.  Let’s just call it what it is: women wanted more stuff and they wanted someone else to pay for it.

And now they’re onto air conditioners and the mantra is the same.  The formula is this: Part 1, “I’m uncomfortable.”  Part 2, “<Long story about how it’s someone else’s fault.>”  Part 3, “Pay for me.  Give me something.”

I could repeat this analysis with literally ANYTHING.  Boy scouts, Augusta National, the military, women’s sports, number of higher education degrees, work promotions, fat shamming, fit shamming, the word “bossy,” and now fucking air conditioners.

But remember, this is not necessarily a feminist thing.  This is a female thing.  Go ahead, guys, try this at home with your girl.  She may start telling you a simple story but sure as shootin’ it’s going to work its way around to we don’t go out enough, you never surprise me with anything, why don’t we take trips, we need to redecorate, I need new clothes, yadda yadda yadda.

All in all, I’m just tired of the middle part, the part where I have to listen to the long story.  Just tell me what I have to pay for.

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