Shelter Jordan is a no-drug and no-alcohol Christian hostel near Anne Frank House and the rest of central Amsterdam. Our guests say ‘if you’re not into partying, drugs or drinking, this is a great place for you’ and have recommended this hostel for lone travellers as it offers a safe atmosphere and single-sex dorms on separate floors. Visitors say ‘the people are friendly and the community area is open until late, so there is plenty of time to socialise with others’. We like that the hostel offers free breakfast as well as lunches and dinners for around €6.
A drug-free and alcohol-free hostel full of wholesome Christians just trying to enjoy Amsterdam? Uh, no thanks. You guys know you’re in Amsterdam, right? Like the Amsterdam where when you tell people you went there, they give you that little knowing smile and say, “I’m sure you had a good time.” That Amsterdam?
Look, it’s clear from my writing that I am a Christian. What’s
worse more, I am a Mormon Christian. Therefore, I’m definitely in on the no-drugs and no-alcohol lifestyle (mostly) and can’t totally hate people who try to live it. But have you ever hung out with a group of people who don’t drink solely because of religious reasons? They’re weird. Sometimes it’s subtle. But weird.
Now maybe it’s because I am one, but when I hang out with Mormons who don’t drink and do things like watch sports or go out to eat or dance or whatever, I think they’re pretty normal. Normal attitudes, normal social skills, etc. Just no booze. But there’s something about those other alcohol-free Christians that are as weird as I’ll get out. Here’s why: Mormons don’t drink because we believe a man who speaks for God (the prophet) has delivered the message that God doesn’t want us Mormons to drink. Like, this man has a direct link to the Almighty and so we kinda need to follow it. But for other Christians, why exactly aren’t you living a little? It’s not in the Bible. And you don’t claim to follow a modern-day prophet who speaks for God. So why not drink, again? Mormons don’t drink because of our doctrine… but we all secretly want to. These other Christians don’t drink because… they actually don’t want to. And that’s fucking weird.
It would be like hanging out with a bunch of Tim Tebows who can’t play football. (So just like the real Tim Tebow – ZING!) Like I said, no thanks.