why does everyone care about Star Wars?

More specifically, why do adults care about Star Wars?  And when I say “care” about Star Wars, I mean they CARE about Star Wars.  Check this picture out.  Not the children.  The grown-ass men next to them.


There are way too many people into this stuff and it confuses me.  I was in high school once.  I remember who was into Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, video games, being socially retarded and who wasn’t.  Trust me, there weren’t that many of us.  But now an ever-increasing share of people are getting into this stuff now as adults.  Why?  What’s the appeal?  It’s for children.*


What the hell has happened?  As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become less of a nerd but the rest of the world keeps turning into bigger nerds.  You see the new Marvel movie?  No, fool, I did not.

My real question is this: if you weren’t a Star Wars guy when you were a kid, why the hell are you into it now?  Most of these people who are rocking the Star Wars gear and standing in line for this movie didn’t give too shits about it growing up.  “Oh, it’s just that fun space movie.”  No, assholes, it was more than that for us.  We dreamed of it and loved it as much as we loved anything else.


For this later group of people, I understand going on a nostalgia trip.  These films were such a part of your life growing up, I can’t find much fault in you celebrating that with a new movie.  But there are way too many people acting like Star Wars is important to them when it previously wasn’t.  Good Lawd we are so desperate for meaning in our lives we attach ourselves to anything resembling it – even if it’s someone else’s meaning and it’s only nostalgia.


Here’s my boy Mark who, after seeing the new one, is starting to understand me:

“I will lead the Resistance of the backlash. It’s the same thing over and over again,” declared Mark, who was decidedly not happy about how The Force Awakens unfolded. “All it does it make me pine for being five years old again. It just reminds me how great the first one was, and that just makes me sad. I’m 43 years old. Everything disappoints me.”


Oh and by the way, where did all these chicks come from who love Star Wars and shit?  If ONLY there were girls who were into that when we were kids.  True, there are a few now who are legit lifelong fans, but where did the rest of these bitches come from?  When they were growing up, where, in between actually hanging out the opposite sex, gossiping with their gal pals, and watching Friends did they fit the time to develop a love of Star Wars?



Shoutout to Kat Timpf for trolling all the Star Wars fans.  Here’s a chick that never was into nerd stuff and instead of getting into it now as a fucking adult like so many of these people, she chose to mock them.



* Don’t fight me on this, nerds.  Let’s recap: laser swords, magical force powers, and make-believe creatures all set in an alternate world with its own history and mythology.  Fantasy.  Kids stuff.  Go ahead and like / live it all you want, but that doesn’t change what it is.

This is also the reason I no longer hate the prequels.  I used to think they took a giant shit on a wonderful trilogy and mythology.  Now, I just think, “Eh.  They were made for kids and kids like them.  What’s the problem?

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