phd can’t get married and joel gets a little wistful
In case you don’t want to watch the video I can summarize for you. A woman with a PhD in history stands on a stage and unwittingly humiliates herself in front of a large audience while she laments her pitiful romantic life.
I truly feel bad for this girl. I feel bad for all women who have been sucked in by our modern world and found themselves unhappy and alone with their best dating and childbearing years behind them. I blame feminism but that’s another rant for another time.
To help the rest of us, I’m going to point out the problem with her underlying attitude.
She is full of ideas about what she wants but never considers what the hypothetical he wants. She thinks she is considering the man’s desires, but what she is really doing in the first few minutes of the video is listing the things she is most pleased with about herself and projecting them onto her potential mates’ wants.
“I’m smart, I’m funny, I’m pretty, I’m accomplished, yadda yadda yadda.”
She does this to validate her life choices. Considering that it is her fault she is single and that what she has spent the last few years of her life doing may not have been in her best interests does not come into the picture. For that would require potentially painful self-reflection and a willingness to change–two things most people don’t want to do.
I’m just going to say it: if instead of sitting indoors getting a useless history PhD she had lost weight, stopped patting herself on the back for how wonderful she is, and looked for a realistic man rather than the one she wrote about in her diary when she was 14, she would have been married years ago. And she would have children. And she would be happy.
Even a well-composed appearance on stage cannot hide the truth: she is miserable, she is lonely, and she doesn’t have much hope.
Don’t misinterpret what I wrote above as another, “he thinks all women need to do is be pretty.” That’s not the case–at least not entirely. I certainly expect more than looks in the women I date. The truth is simply that looks get you dates and a personality gets you a relationship. Since dates usually precede relationships, anything you can do to get more dates is going to improve your chances of a relationship. It’s not complicated.
The world will catch on. It currently is catching on, actually. I sense a change in the winds. However, the shame of it is that so many women like this one above will be left behind.